Dear Dr. Reilly,

I would like to thank you for your surgical skills and performance in my highly successful hip surgery operation.

Our decision to utilize a spinal anesthesia, which allows the patient to be semi-conscious during the operation, was very beneficial. I awoke during the procedure to the sounds of saws and hammering. I reminded you of your promise to level up my posture by elongating my new hip pin, which you did. A soon as I was out of recovery, I bragged to nurses, patients, and anyone who would listen about my important part in this operation. I really think this was a threat to you as I was immediately subjected to physical therapy and hustled out of the hospital in four days with a cane and a prescription for several weeks of physical therapy and exercises at home.

I am glad to report the physical pain was gone immediately, and my health and posture restored. However, the monetary rehabilitation is endless. Travelling about trying to restore my spiffy wardrobe is endless, and you would be surprised how difficult it is to find resale or consignment shops who are interested in handling trousers that have one leg shorter than the other. Sorry I have never been home when you have called inquiring about my health.

Gotta walk my dog.

J. Crampton